I am starting some fun new hormones tomorrow, so I thought it might not be an awful idea to discuss all of the hormones. because OMG. Since my last transfer, I have been on estrace, then nothing, then provera (progesterone), then estrace.... now tomorrow I start Progesterone -2 different kinds, one is the shot form, the other is taken in a not so nice way. I know. You're thinking, "what could be worse than giving myself a shot with a 1.5 inch needle?"
Trust me... it can be worse. Okay. It's not really that bad. The cool thing is that the pharmacist actually mixed it fresh and it has to be refrigerated. Interesting, no?
Anyway, I am normally a generally happy person. Negativity just rolls right off me, and I can't hold a grudge to save my life. On top of that, if someone else is being negative, I can always compartmentalize that, and it doesn't bother me. Shift to now. I cry at the stupidest things. I am fairly certain one of my bosses thinks I have lost it. My immediate supervisor is very understanding since she is a female, and I feel like I can just show her my Hormone Card and she understands.
The worst part of that is the fact that everyone says I need to not stress out. Of course, stress could affect transfer-ability. I am doing much better at that right now since I have added some meditation/visualization to my day, but last time when I had trouble with my lining, I was very much STRESSED
I want this to work so badly. I know my IPs are just wonderful people who deserve to have a successful transfer and a healthy baby. I knew it would be a huge deal in my life, but I never expected it to bother me so much when I was not successful. I knew it would be hard, but I thought the hard part was being pregnant, not getting there.
I believe I had to go through this experience though. I think I needed to appreciate a little bit better the struggle that some go through with getting pregnant. I needed to see that it is more than just throwing an egg in there and letting it cook for nine months. This has been quite a learning experience for me. I just hope that the next step in my learning experience is the beginning of a healthy pregnancy that starts on Tuesday.
Please, if you have any sticky baby dust... throw it this way.